obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother
which is the first commandment with promise. Obedience is the plan God has
chosen for us to show love.
I John 5:3
this is the love of God that we keep His commandments and his commandments are
I John 3:18,19
little children let us not love in word; neither in tongue; but in deed and in
truth. Hereby we know that we are of the truth and
assure our hearts before Him.
people have shaky relationships, because they have spent their lives in
rebellion to their parents. God calls us to correct this. If your parents are no
longer living, remember you have a new father, you have the Father God and you
can obey Him, and ask His forgiveness for your disobedience in earlier parts of
your life. God will see to it that as you obey Him, your future will change; and
your abilities to have good relationships will multiply.
first responsibility and privilege in life is to obey God. We are to obey our
parents in everything as long as it is in agreement with what God says. If your
parents ask you to lie or to be unloving, you are to obey God rather than man.
When we honor our physical father and mother we are promised a good long life.
How much more when we also honor our spiritual Father!
you always honored your parents in every way? If not, take a moment to ask
their forgiveness and start to honor them. The Lord can cleanse you and release
you from all hurt and bitterness. Do you wish your parents to honor and respect
you? Give and it shall be given to you.
Some people say, “My parents are older and they should take the first step.” But the Bible’s way to deal with this is, when you know to do good you are responsible to carry it out. Why continue to live a broken relationship, when the Word and the Spirit of God can use you to heal this relationship.
And you fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord.
read this scripture carefully and remember, what provokes your wrath will have
the same effect on your children. If you want them to respect you, you must also
give respect and honor to them.
3:17-21 provides us with a review of what we studied in Ephesians. Verse
19 tells husbands not to be bitter against their wives. Bitterness is an
attitude of unforgiveness and resentment. It will steal joy from relationships
and distort them, causing people to treat one another with contempt rather than
thankfulness. Bitterness against one person can poison all our relationships.
Follow peace with all men and holiness without which no man shall
see the Lord, looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any
root of bitterness spring up trouble you and thereby many be defiled.
and bitterness cannot dwell together, so the solution of overcoming bitterness
is to walk in love. Remember love is not a feeling but an action. Our feelings
will follow our actions.
also comes when we try to make someone else responsible for our feelings. Your
feelings are your responsibility. You are the only one that can deal with how
you feel about things.
3:21 warns fathers not to provoke children. This is a very good scripture. It
shows what happens in a lot of homes that do not have good relationships. When
we are provoked or bullied this makes us feel small and resentful. Children need
parents to build them up in self esteem, bringing their positive qualities
to sight and emphasizing their ability to succeed, while accepting their
If you have no children yet, practice these principles on your husband or on your wife. Then, when your children come, you will be ready to build them up and provide a good environment for them. Your children believe what you tell them about themselves. See your child as an individual and really listen to what they tell you, even when they are very small. If you are reading the paper while your child is trying to communicate, the message you are sending is you are not interested in what they say, and they are not very important.
expect children to obey them instantly, but force the child to ask for something
six times before they can get their attention. This is a double standard and
unfair and unbiblical. If you wish for children to communicate with you in their
teenage years, prepare the pattern and set the example when they are two or
three years old, then communication becomes a way of life for your family. It is
important for all members of the family to respect one another and communicate
freely with good manners, consideration, and honesty. Here are some questions
that you as a parent may like to ask yourself:
Are you a parent your child can trust? Why?
you are a child ask yourself this question:
Are you a child your parents can trust? Why?
Could any member of my family come to me in a crisis and expect the wisdom of
God to prevail?
How could I increase and improve in love so that others are not afraid to
communicate with me?